Kim Anna with her partner Tobias and their daughter Ella. Photo: VU MF
“When my daughter was born it seemed I had no time for anything,” Kim Anna Jacob, a student from Germany who came to Lithuania with an aim of pursuing medical education, said. “The family and the birth of my child have not impeded my plans, on the contrary, they boosted my determination.”
Arrived in Vilnius for studies
Kim had worked in an intensive care unit at one of the university hospitals in Germany before coming to Lithuania. Working as a nurse in a healthcare facility Kim did not abandon her dream of studying medicine. After an intensive search for medical studies in English abroad, Kim decided to enroll in studies organized by the Faculty of Medicine of Vilnius University in 2018.
On the one hand, the decision to travel to Lithuania to study for six years was not difficult: “In the 1970s, my grandfather and his daughter (my mother) left for Lagos, the then capital of Nigeria. My mother was raised in African culture and wanted her children to have the same opportunity of living in another culture. So, I lived in South Africa for several years, attended a school in England, and after graduating, I went to Israel as a volunteer. So I traveled a lot and this was, to a great extent, due to my parents’ influence.”
On the other hand, the decision to leave was difficult, because my partner stayed in Hamburg. “We were not happy about living in different countries, so ultimately Tobias also moved to Vilnius. And then our baby daughter Ella arrived,” Kim told her story.
Kim Anna. Photo: VU MF
Careful planning is key to success
“When my daughter was born it seemed I had no time for anything. I’ve learned to plan my time very carefully, so that I could devote 100 percent to each activity planned in the day. For example, if I am at a lecture, I try to learn as much as possible during that time. I even listen to pre-recorded lectures on my way to the university. Otherwise, I would have to devote more time for learning during the rest of the day, which is quite difficult,” Kim said.
Buying food online and cooking for a few days in advance help in saving your time. So does the house cleaner. “Good sleep is also very important to me. I am convinced that it is better to have a sound sleep and work productively during the day than to study or do household chores at the expense of your sleep and then feel tired and powerless the next day, particularly since I am on my feet from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.,” the student said.
During the interview, Kim repeatedly praised her partner Tobias, with whose help she is able to continue her medical studies. He took a paternity leave, but is now working remotely and often comes to “rescue”. For example, when their daughter is sick or cannot attend the kindergarten, he looks after her at home while Kim attends university. He also looks after the child when Kim is preparing for her examinations or goes to meet her friends. “We had a babysitter, but Ella was sick very often from her first winter in Kindergarten, so we just got accustomed to looking for other solutions to life situations,” she said.
Although the daily routine is often far from simple, Kim is enjoying this stage of her life, and medical studies bring her a lot of joy: “During the first two years of studies, before Ella was born, I had been studying so much. This was very helpful, because medical studies are organized on a spiral approach basis – the subjects we learn repeat in greater detail in the future. So I have a good basis and I know that I am studying what I am really interested in. Also my previous work experience really helps.”
Motherhood, however, changed Kim`s priorities. Her main goal was to become a doctor as soon as possible. Today she hesitates as to whether achievement of professional goals 1-2 years earlier has any significant impact on life. “If we have a second child, I would take an academic leave, I wouldn’t continue studying as I did in Ella’s case. Building a family and nurturing personal relationship are equally important. So I’ve chosen to try to keep balance between the two dreams – professional and personal, but it’s not easy,” Kim noted.
Kim Anna with her partner Tobias and their daughter Ella. Photo: VU MF
Support from peers and lecturers
Kim also praised her friends and peers. “We are really colleagues. There is no competition here, but a very strong desire to share with and care for each other. We share not only material for examinations, but also personal concerns, joys and sadness. Although now we have practice in hospitals and therefore spend more time in small groups, my friends always ask me how I and my daughter are doing, when we pass each other in the corridors. They also call me a superwoman,” Kim laughed and added that her superpower comes from her self-discipline and ability to perform several tasks simultaneously.
Kim says that lecturers are also very supportive: “I had studied intensively before Ella was born. I’m trying to keep it up now. And I use my “card” as the mother only in exceptional cases, for example, when my daughter and I spend one night in hospital. But I don’t need privileges – I know what choice I have made.” There are situations when things don’t go the way you’ve planned, so Kim tries to do all the tasks and housework as soon as possible.
Finally, Kim noted some lecturers and doctors she talked to encourage students to start a family while studying. “If we do it after we’ve achieved all our professionals goals, we would be 40 years old. There is always a need to compromise. Timing is never perfect but for us personally now was the best time. Personally I think it is easier to plan time when you are studying than when you are working. Although the feeling of guilt that one could do more in tidying up, spending time with your daughter or studying will not disappear in any case,” she said.
The biggest challenge is the Lithuanian language
When asked about the challenges of living in Lithuania, Kim says that she misses her family members and friends in Germany. Also, there are problems with the Lithuanian language. “For example, at the moment Ella is attending a Lithuanian kindergarten, so she helps solve various issues that arise. Even when someone publishes a new post in a Facebook group, I must first translate it to understand what it is all about,” said Kim and added that she does not regret her decision to take her daughter to a Lithuanian kindergarten. On the contrary, thanks to this choice, Ella understands Lithuanian better than her parents.
Although the lack of the knowledge of the Lithuanian language is challenging for the German couple living in Lithuania, in some cases it also helpful. Sometimes when you don’t understand some unpleasant things people may be saying, this protects you from bad emotions. However, Kim and Tobias are pleased that so far most Lithuanians they have come across have been pleasant and positive about foreigners. “We don’t know where the road will take us. Who knows, we may stay here longer?” Kim concluded the interview.
Little Ella with her father Tobias. Photo: VU MF